The Hair That Must not be Named - Trump Hair Song by Jay Mankita c 2016

Oh the Washington Post made a list to compare

Some snarky names for his hellish hair

I took some out, I put some in

And I rhymed by the light of his orange skin

It’s a dreadful beast that can never be tamed

This is the “hair that must not be named”

Though some have called it a ginger wig, 

a golden fleece, a dead guinea pig, 

A billowing golden pompadour, 

an unfortunate dustball scraped off the floor

The Twitter logo upside down, 

an abandoned nest on a sad, angry clown

Trumpo dear, Trumpo no

Trumpo say it isn't so 

Trumpo fret Trumpo fuss

We all have a little bit of Trump in us

A decomposing ear of corn, 

a flaccid piece of 70s porn

Some cheetos melting in the sun, 

an alien poodle, a hot cross bun

The devil’s dishrag labyrinth, 

a hair-weave phaser set on stun

An orange Trump skin matching pillow

A ruined pumpkin, an armadillo

(a) South American Flannel caterpillar, 

superglue on Phyllis Diller

The stomach flu, a thatched hut, 

a coonskin cap, a beaver’s butt,

A dying hen, some tooth decay

A greasy and grotesque souffle

Like Lucille Ball with the vita-meata-vegamin

An aspiring Nazi-American hegemon

Like Star Trek’s flying alien pizza

Pumps you full of dopamine, & loves ya while it eats ya

A pale raven crying nevermore, 

a carefully crafted helmet of war

A vomitous mass, an embarrassing eyesore, 

a mighty wall the Mexicans’ll pay for

A humiliation of bankrupt lies, 

a shameful joke metastasized

A viscous, bird-killing oily slick, 

a vicious troll doll with a cheap cowlick

An aggressive omelet, a furrowed wake, 

a scam, a fraud, an angel food cake 

A tasteless tapioca slush, 

a badly frayed old toilet brush

That artless, unsavory, cross-hatched famine

that cirrus cloud, that spoiled salmon

An exhibitionist, peacock mutation, 

a farcical, follicle mummification

A cheap tightwad, a roll of sod, 

A failed and broken household god

Oh its really, really sad, so I’ll say it twice

It’s horrible and very, very, very, not nice

The male equivalent of a push-up bra, 

a mullet made from rancid coleslaw

A blow-dried Mobius combover, 

a hairsprayed hostile takeover

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